There was a strange romance while I was in the hospital - or at least a hint of a romance that was not actually in the hospital, but it occurred while I was there. It began prior to my accident, I had been hanging out - casually dating - a girl at the school in the district next to mine - an innocent flirtation more than anything.
As it happened, her mother was one of my nurses at my first hospital - though I don’t remember this part of my recovery - and once I was in Magee Rehabilitation, I don’t remember who initiated it, but the flirtation continued and we would talk on the phone almost every night. I remember having feelings for her, but at the same time not caring - I think I thought of her as my girlfriend, though we never proclaimed it as such, and I felt no real attachment.
As I returned from the hospital, I remember her coming to my house, sitting next to me on my futon bed as we just sat there and talked - the bedroom doors open for a chaperoned visit. Still in my neck brace and my face stuck in a confused clown’s smile, I tried to hold her hand, and she wasn’t sure about that, so she pulled her hand away, and that was okay.
And its a strange memory because I don’t remember any more than that - I think she left my house soon after - but that image is in my mind, like i’m watching it through the open kitchen door - sitting on the red futon, me smiling, she uncomfortable, music playing, an uncertain laugh from both of us.
After that, she disappears from any memory - I don’t know her thoughts or how she felt, and I sometimes wonder what they were. The strange thing is that I never recall feeling any loss as she disappeared. There were a few moments in my mind when I recall wondering about her, wishing we could be a couple, but those were just momentary slight depressions, quickly dissipating when something else caused a distraction. I think, more than anything, I juts wanted to be a normal teenage boy, and having a girlfriend seemed something that would be normal.
Despite her quickly vanishing from my life when I returned from the hospital, our romance was a boon in my recovery. While it existed, being able to talk and share in a coquettish, fantasy romance granted a hint of normalcy as I healed.
She and I didn’t stay in touch - we attended the same university, and I remember passing her as I left a class, a quick “Hey…” and moving on. I have no idea where she is now, but I wish her all the best, wherever she may be. Life moves on, and though she was but a glimpse in mine, I appreciate having that time as a memory.
For me, this brings to light the importance of every interaction. While by no means monumental in my recovery, she was a positive part of it, and its little bits like this might be the nudge that encourages one to ignore the statistics, defy the odds, and just get better.
That’s my memory, but do you have any memories of small interactions that have been a positive nudge in your life? Please share in the comments.
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